I copied it from somewhere else, just thought it is funny, and somewhat true.

“Don’t Hate Me Because I’m Beautiful…”

A friend of mine moved into a new condo tower a few months back. Slowly but surely, she’s been meeting people in the building and making some new friends there. The building is largely filled with young urbanites, many of whom are single. Unfortunately, there are a group of women in the building who clearly don’t like her. They have no valid reason for their dislike… She’s been friendly and outgoing, yet they’ve basically snubbed and rebuffed her - organized activities for “the girls” but not invited her, barely said “hello” when she greets them - that sort of thing.

It would seem she’s facing that all too common “insecure-female” syndrome.

You see, she’s a tall, attractive, successful, single woman in her 30’s. For those fragile ego types, that spells “threatening”. She told me a story about how she and a friend went to a New Year’s party and one woman there was openly GLARING at her the moment she entered the room. It was so obvious and overt that her friend started laughing about it.

But you hear it all the time - women saying, (jokingly or not), “Oh, she’s so thin, I hate her!”, or words to that effect. We have a culture that has made it OK, even encouraged, women to “hate” or dislike anyone whom we perceive to have something we don’t. Instead of appreciating someone else’s talents, wisdom or beauty, too many people see it as an indictment of themselves, and a threat.

Unfortunately, this fucked-up attitude seems to be more prevalent with women than men, and it pisses me off when women are that willfully stupid. As Instigatrix said, “You know, I really DO hate boneheads, but bonehead WOMEN have a SPECIAL place in the crack of my ass.”

Even though I’m not as young or gorgeous as my friend, I still have experienced the attempts at ostracism from threatened females, largely because I am outgoing, intelligent, I don’t play dumb, and I can talk with the guys about computers and power tools, and other geeky stuff that they find interesting. I am unusual in that I am a very technically savvy female. Just because a guy finds that interesting doesn’t mean he wants to sleep with me, or that I want to sleep with him. All the protestations of Harry (When Harry Met Sally) aside, sometimes a man and woman can just have a conversation because they share mutual interests. I know of one case where my name is apparently *verboten* in the household because she is so threatened by me (and I’ve never even MET her), and another where I was hated by the wife because I could talk about work with her husband and she didn’t understand any of it.

Fer Chrissakes women, get a goddamn grip! If you can’t talk to your partner about stuff that is important or interesting to him, find someone more compatible, or, heaven forefend, open a damn book and learn something that you can both share an interest in. Knowing about computers, or cars, or finances is a useful skill regardless. YOU could actually benefit. I’m not talking about becoming a sycophant and taking up all HIS interests so you can have something in common, but if you don’t share any mutual interests, and he’s not willing to take up any of yours, why are you together? Hot sex can only carry a relationship so far… (believe me, I know).

Why oh why do these women immediately see an attractive woman as a threat? Do they think she’ll steal away their boyfriends or husbands? I see two immediate problems with that theory: a) They are expecting that the boyfriend/husband is such a catch that she’d want him, and b) if he’s so untrustworthy, and so unhappy with you that he could be wooed into bed (or beyond) by another woman, What the Hell Are You Doing With Him? Dump the fucker already!

Nobody ever got seduced out of a wonderful, loving, good relationship. Stop blaming and hating other women who have done nothing but look good, or have a conversation with your hubby, just because you are riddled with insecurities. Get some fucking therapy or get out of the relationship. Hell, get therapy regardless.

I’m going to throw a little psychological monkey-wrench in here just for good measure. I think that women who are paranoid about their guy getting seduced by another woman, are in fact projecting their own fears about themselves onto the guy. At some level, she’s so unhappy and uncomfortable that if the right guy came up and wooed her, she’d fall for it. Because she feels susceptible, she figures her partner must be too.

All that being said, I don’t think it’s cool, funny, or acceptable for the female manipulator types to swoop in and deliberately break up an unstable couple as some kind of power/ego-trip. (I get plenty of membership applications from misguided women who think that being a Heartless Bitch means using and abusing those who are susceptible, and breaking up couples for fun). Those types need a stiletto rammed firmly up their asses too.

And then, there are the “Pecking Order” Alpha Female types. The ones that have to be the Top Dog in all situations. Everyone has to agree with them. They have to be the one to give the best advice. They either rule by belittling and praising or by “mothering” everyone around them. Those that resist the attempts to exact conformity are ostracized. You see this most commonly in high-school cliques, but sadly, it persists well into adulthood, and out into the working world. I worked in one office where it was clear the Alpha Female didn’t like me because I didn’t always agree with her, and spoke my own mind. There were several subjects where I also knew far more than she did, and she didn’t like to be corrected when she expounded on something she clearly had limited knowledge of. One must never contradict the Alpha Female.

Heh. I just see THAT kind of behavior as a big, red button that says, “Push Me” on it.

It was obvious that she didn’t like me, but she wasn’t openly hostile - she was smarter than that - her manipulation was calculated and controlled. Never-the-less, it was clear that I wasn’t “one of the girls”, which suited me just fine. I found it all rather amusing, like being an observer in a psychology experiment. You see, I shucked off any need for that kind of approval or group-acceptance back in junior high, when it was clear that to be part of the “in” crowd, you had to accept the “queen” belittling you in front of others. She did it to everyone. I was part of the “in” group for a very short time until I made it clear that I wouldn’t be pressured into doing anything I didn’t want to do (like smoke), and I wouldn’t tolerate the insult-laden ego-propping behavior.

That didn’t make me a loner - it just meant that I found better people to be friends with. Fortunately, there are women out there who are not insecure, backbiting, manipulative assholes. You don’t have to give up having friends just because you refuse to play some stupid female pecking-order game. That being said, I’ve never felt the need to be part of an all girl group. From time-to-time I have been, due to circumstances, but it’s not something that I can’t live without, nor something that I specifically seek out. Give me the mixed company of a few close friends, and I’m happy. Sure, I have my close female friends, but even then, I won’t tolerate shithead behavior just because we are “girlfriends” and I certainly won’t excuse boneheadedness for the sake of “sisterhood”. I’ll be supportive, but I won’t be a soppy crying rag - especially for woes that come from self-inflicted injuries (that’s what you pay a therapist for). I’ve told more than one person to “shit or get off the pot” because they started getting emotional hemorrhoids from sitting on the self-pity-pot for too long. If your shit stinks, I’ll tell you, and I expect the same in return. By the same token, I’ll celebrate your talents, beauty, knowledge and skills - I’ll cheer you on when you are tackling a big challenge, running a race, or opening an art exhibit, and watch your back when you fight the good fight.

Remember, Real Heartless Bitches(tm) aren’t threatened by someone having more money, greater beauty, a better job, a cuter boyfriend, or more talent. Heartless Bitches know who they are, and they are damned proud of it. They know in their hearts, that no matter what society might think of them, they ARE beautiful. They also couldn’t give a fart (much less a shit) about someone who hates them because of that.