You will become the one you choose

Vivian comes to visit. We hang out pretty much the whole day.

While I took her on a tour of Marquette campus, she kept yelling ‘it is the same… nothing really changed….oh, look that building, just like 4 years ago’. Yeah, how time flies, it has been 4 years indeed. 4 years ago, we both sitting under library window, hoping one day when we get out school we can be the one we wanted to be. And now, she is holding a respectful job in downtown Manhattan, flying here and there meeting with clients, and me, still sitting under library window, wondering where I’d want to go.

After the campus tour V and I went to Bravo for an Italian late lunch, food is always terrific there. We talked about things happened around us, school, study, job, men etc. I did not know V had a broken romance as well, she does not look like a woman with a broken heart at all, which amazed me a ton. She still suggested me to go to east coast, she said from her understanding of my characters; NY fits me better than MKE. I hope that holds true.

We went shopping briefly after lunch and came back to my apartment. I made some ginger soup since she get a little cold too. We kept talking and both agreed that regardless what happened to us, or going to happen in the future, we will relinquish all the fears and be ourselves. Sometimes, I do need a friend as V to remind me that I am not that good, yet capable to do better.

V left pretty late, and for the first time in a long while I slept well.

I woke up fresh this morning, got some work done, and went to lake front for jogging. 30F is considered as warm for a city like MKE. I making a circle along the lake side, when I jog facing the city, I saw the MKE skyline lying in front of me. The city was still grey, cold and slow, but I do not have the uncomfortable feeling that much anymore.

I called my dad before dinner time, he is almost fully recovered from his surgery, which is great. I never stop feeling powerless and guilty for not able to taking care of him. Yet he is so understandable and never blame me for a thing. He told me that he is ready back to work next week, and I said me too.

2008 is going to be tough for me, and I won't allow myself linger around with a broken spirit. I know I can handle it. I always knew that.